I switched majors three times before graduating at a prestigious art school in NYC, then started my own company which lead to moving across the country and eventually running IGN’s news and features team and co-hosting my own weekly comedy shows in San Francisco. That’s a far cry from the New York gallery scene I thought I’d spend my 20’s and 30’s trying to crack in.
I never could have predicted any of that based just on what I did in college. Life is fucking weird like that, man. Just start acting like you want to be what you are and if you’re good at it, people will believe you. If not, reinvent yourself again until you find something you can own. Have fun, get money, be nice to bitches that love you and buy my album ROBOTOBOTS.” —Brian Altano, of IGN. And seriously, check out Robotobots.
I had a weird thought just now. I realized that I haven’t actually listened to music in well over a week.
Now, that’s not entirely true. There’s definitely music in the shows I’ve been watching while sick, but I haven’t actually consciously put music on to listen to in a while, which led me to think about when and why I listen to music.
I think the majority of my listening tends to be when I’m either at work or driving. Considering I haven’t been doing much of either since being stuck at home with mono, I lost the environment in which I use to listen to music.
It’s weird to me because I certainly do like music. I have favorite bands. I even had a song stuck in my head last night as I did some embarrassing half-dancing to while no one was home. However, the fact that I haven’t actively listened to music in a while almost makes me feel uncomfortable.
I think I might head out into the backyard at some point later today (when it gets cooler out, of course), plug my laptop in, and just listen to some music.
i know it sounds stupid, but i think that im so scared of failing that i dont even try to do things sometimes.
im so afraid of going to school and getting a degree in something only to find out that i wont be making shit with my degree and just ending up with mountains of debt.
all i want, all i really want is to have some kinda decently paying job somewhere that i kinda like, my own place, a dog, and living with (or at least close to) my girlfriend.
does that sound stupid? thats really all i want. i dont want to be rich, i just want to be happy.
and yet im too scared to do anything about it. im too scared to commit to anything because i get caught up in thinking about the long term possibilities and “what-ifs”.
i hate my big stupid brain.
anxiety combined with mono
im just a barrel of fun today